4A The Mountain Messenger, Thursday, August 30,1990
Last week we discussed objectivity. Carrying on in thai tradition
of erudition, our topic this week is - zucchini. Yes. the subject of
our discourse today Is that much maligned, long, green, prolific
vegetable which was a gift fronl tile indomitable Italians tile zuc-
chini.
Now, if you were asked to name sonic of the contributions made
to society by the Italians you might brashly list Michelangelo. asli
spumanti, daVlnci, Sylvester Stallone. You might even go so fat" as
to add ptzT~l pie and Julius I~Rosa to the list.
However that may be, l contend the greatest gift of all is -- you
guessed it -- la zucchinil "the zucchini is a very under-rated vege-
table. Just think of the latent power locked up in a single zucchini
seed. Plant It and, before you know it, yon'It have enough zucchhll
to feed an army.
And while we're on the subject of the military -- we could dis-
band the world's armies if we were to properly utilize the power of
the zucchini.
Have you noiiced when tile zucchini come in your neighbors be-
come more friendly? If you happen to stop by Ibr a visit they will
load you up with zucchini by .~aying "We have more than we know
what to do with. We love to share tile fruits of our labors." They
smile and. while your back is turned, add another five-pounder Io
the already over-flowing poke.
The same holds true when your neighbors call on you. From the
back of their truck they pull ou! the largest, most fully-developed.
grandesi and vlrlually useless zucchini you ever laid eyes upon• It
Is difficult at times like these to say "thank you" and really mean
It. [ can image successful growers slaying awake at night trying to
think of new ways to get rid of their zucchini. Why, one ilme I
opened my rural mailbox and found an elghl-pound. 19-inch long
zucchini. Of course there was no return address on it.
Just think of the strategic advantage we would have if we used
zucchini to lob at the irascible Iraquis! Where one of our zucchini
shells would land a plant would sprout up. Each plant woukl pro-
duce an untold number of fruits -- fruits which the Iraquis would
have to find some way to get rid oL They would be forced mto
contacting our home economic experts in order to get new recipes
-- zucchini breads: zucchini cakes. They would have to learn to
bake it. braise it, basle it, fry it, stew it. boil it. even barbeque it.
Their translators would be kept busy copying secret recipes for
zucchini ice cream. Their transi×)rtation system would l~)g down
just trying to get the extra zucchini from one part of their country
to another.
They'd have to learn to be co). --- to approach their neighbors
with smiles on their faces while all the time toting baskets, bags.
and boxes filled with the elongated Italian wonder vegetable,
They wouldn't have time to invade a neighboring country -- no
matter how rich it was -- because they would be spending all their
waking hours trying to figure out ways io pawn their zucchini oil"
withoui tipping their hand.
Other than trying to make an atomic bomb. their scientists
could concentrate on ways to extract oil fi'om the zucchini. Thev
could, if they play it right, have a corner on tile Ihel for all the
world's future Zucchinlmobiles. Think of it The errant [raquls
would have to form a carte] They could call thai group OPEC
Oblong Paraphernalia Econonlic Conununity.
The possibilities are really bourldless, Don't laugh, nexl week
we'll try to find peaceful uses ibr bnrdock, ,flalst~es ond kudzu --
the ~ a~betlex plaeeqor our elT-ort~÷~ ......
-- Cha~. A. Goddard
Dear Editor:
'IXvo weeks ago I called Siate
Senator J. D. Brackenrich's of_
flee to ask for an interview. II
had called several t~ms for a
couple of weeks to speak with
Mr Brackenrleh, but he was
never available, per hls
secretary's response to me.)
When I finally reached him and
asked for a 15-minute interview
for Brier Scratches II. he replied
I had been "harassing" him and
his employees by calling his of-
fice for a press interview.
I told him very. respectfully
that I was not h~assing hhn.
but seeking an interview with a
publicly-elected official for a
publication. Please In mind
that Mr has no
listed telephone number where
he can be reached other than
one at his Brackenrich and
A.ss~lates office In Lewlsburg.
Last week i was in Char-
lesion. I spent quite a while at
the Ethics Commission. Litton
Building. 1207 Quarrier Street.
Room 407. (Citizens, this Is open
to all of you to check public rec-
ords If you wish.) As you know,
publicly-elected representatives
are requ|red by West Virginia
State Law to file a financial dis-
closure statementis) with the
Ethics Commission, I read all
James Rowe and State Senators
for 15 minutes of tough ques-
tioning from me! He is obviously
too busy with his business for
citizen questions.
it's about time that citizens
woke up and nlake these elected
officials accotmtable to us citi-
zens! lt's about time that the
Repnbllean Party gets oil" its duff
and sees that there is a strong
two party system in this Counly!
It's ABOUT TIME that people ask
Mr Brackenrich questions (and
that they denland answers to):
ill What will he do about sug-
gested relocation of WVSOM in
Lewisburg to Huntington and
the loss of millions of dollars to
our Greenbrier County econ-
omy? (2) Has he writlen a letter
or personally contacted Federal
Housing Administralion sources
tn D.C. to "audit the books and
procednres" of P.S,I~. #2 since it
Is approximately $1.75 million in
arrears in repayments? It's
ABOUT TIME Mr Brackenrich
perlnits me to interview hhn lor
tile public's good! i can ask a lot
of toltgh questions in 15 min-
utes!
Thank yOU.
Shn'erely.
Prltchard Farley Collins
Quinwood
Dear Editor:
1 would like to propose a solu-
tion to the problem of
incumbent's advantage. Chal-
ltollMay and Brackenrich, lengers should be allowed equal
Mr Brackenrlch has marked access to government campaign
on the albrementioned question-funds. Case In point, is the re-
nalm that more than 20 per cent cent campatgn literature from
of his Income is derived from
County and municipal sources.
He has listed that he does
County business in Braxton,
Boone, Fayette. Gllmer. Green-
brier. Harrison, Raleigh.
Marshall. Monroe. McDowell,
Nicholas, Preston and Putnam
counties. He also does business
(presumably engineering busl-
nessl with the towns of Dewls-
burg, Montgomery and laeger.
Are you ready for more? He
listed that he also does business
!with RESA IV (an education re-
.g ton} and the Sugar Creek Public
Service DtsIrlctl!!! No wonder Mr
does not have time
Congressman Harley Staggers,
Jr.
That this Is campaign litera-
ture is hard to deny when one
sees the snide reference to his
opponent, his unrealistic de-
scription of the West Virginia
economy, and use of his cam-
paign slogan, "Working for You."
l resent my tax dollars being
used to send campaign literature
disguised as, "official business."
However. his statement that.
"West Virginia is on the move." Is
very accurate, Unfortunately, tile
move, In many cases. Is to North
Carolina.
Sincerely,
Charles Riddle
Birch River
The Mountain Messenger
STAFF
Chas. A. Ooddard, Editor
Dotty Brackenrich, Office Manager
Troy Forrcn, Advertising
Terri Boone, Advertising
l lelen Searle, Advertisin~
Betty Morgan, Ad I)csign
Matt l~mders, Ad l)csign
Jonathan Wright, Staff Writer
Lou Burroughs, "l~pcsctting
Brenda Ghcrman, Pn)duction
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To the point
By Jonathan Wright
It was a warm summer eve-
ning, and I was nervously await-
ing tile right moineni to ask the
question. I had been working ou
the computer in the newspaper
office about two hours. Ellen had
joined nle about an hour earlier
and had brought in an ice cream
treal to break the monolonv.
Over tile past few weeks we had
become increasingly serious
about one other• and I felt satis-
fied thai asking the queslion was
the right thing. Nevertheless. l
was jittery about when to do it
and how to word it. This was
something which would change
the rest of our lives, attd it was
not going to be easy to say.
After finishing my ice creanl I
went back to the computer to
finish iny work. Ellen sat wilh
tile to keep me company. As I
approached the end of mv tasks,
Troy Forren came in with his
flane6 and introduced her to
Ellen and me. They had seen tile
office lights on belbre going to
the Lewis Theatre across the
street.
Apparently Troy had "spilled
the beans" to his fianc~ that I
might ask Ellen the all-impor-
tant question---but apparently
she didn't understand 1 had not
asked it yet! There we all were.
chatting away about this and
that, including Troy's and Kris'
engagement--when Kris inno-
cently asked Ellen. "You all arc
getting married, aren't W)tl?"
Gulp! I'm not always a quick
I
Dear Editor:
Last Tuesday, August 14. I
announced I was lormtng a bi-
partisan group called +Awaken
the Giant" to attempt to stop the
abuse of unsolicited mass mail-
ings by our elected Federal offi-
cials.
During my meeting with re-
porters, l pointed out a recent
mailing that was senl to the en-
tire Second Congressional Dis-
ti•icl that was nolhing more than
political rhetoric by Congress+
nlan Harley Staggers, Jr.
Not only did Congressman
Staggers respond by saying, "It's
something that I should proba-
bly do more of," but his brother
and campaign manager, Danny,
accused tile of working lor the
Oliver I.uck campaign. By doing
so, he has insulted my integrity
and nlotWes.
Therefore, my only option, as
the first official act of Awaken
the Giant. is to file a lbrmal com-
plaint with Congressman Mo
UdalI. chairman of the United
States Franking Conlmisston.
Additionally, to insure thai this
complainl receives the allention
that Is required, I have also sent
a copy io Congressnlan Jerry
l,ewis, a Republh!an member of
tile Franking Conunission
Congressnlan Staggers vio-
lated the law by plachlg his cmn-
paign slogan and picture on his
franked nlafling. Ii is not tile re-
sponsibility of the tzL'
